It’s a difficult year, but it doesn’t have to be that way
It’s “that age,” people say. That age when your friends get hitched, buy houses, and tie a perfectly manicured bow around their lives.
For the rest of us, single and terrified about what to do next, 27 feels like a perpetual Valentine’s Day.
Here’s what I mean: this year is clearly not about you.
Yes, you exist but don’t kid yourself; you’re here to round out bachelor parties, pour champagne during engagement zoom calls, walk down the aisle with this person, and painfully farouche in the background of wedding photos.
People will ask about your happiness, but at weddings, the definition of happiness ends at significant others and money.
“Are you dating anyone?”
“How’s the commercial real estate business?”
“Well, it’s hard to sell office space when everyone works from home.”
There’s A Silver Lining
I can’t speak for everyone. But 27 and single is like walking an emotional tightrope between overwhelming excitement for your friends, and the dreadful feeling of looking up at a scoreboard, your team trailing by 30, and it’s late in the 4th quarter.
In other words, you’re falling behind.
I know that’s an ugly optic. But, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to feel this way.
You will come to realize that time is on your side, maybe more so than your cake-cutting friends. Time to discover your interests and what truly lights your fire.
In my case I fell in love with writing. During quarantine, I discovered that writing isn’t about structure or grammar; It’s about your voice and making connections that most people miss. I haven’t looked back since then, and I truly feel unstoppable.
People are wired differently. Some are visionary: they know what they want early in life and are unwavering about their decisions. Others, like myself, are experimenters: solving problems through trial and error. We spend our time tinkering, often failing, but learning and evolving as we go.
It’s not a matter of who’s better, it’s simply a different journey.
A Hopeful Future
There’s a rebelliousness to not having it all figured out. It takes honesty and patience to test things and embrace failure.
“To live outside the law you must be honest”
-Bob Dylan, from Absolutely Sweet Marie
There’s also hope, hope that the best things in life are still in front of you. When I sit down to write, I can’t help but imagining my life as a world traveler, or hiking the English countryside, or partying in Greece.
Not that all of it will happen, but it’s never outside the realm of possibility.
There’s a certain freedom to that mindset.
I’ve learned during my 27th year that comparisons are a poison and the consequences of falling victim to those thoughts are crippling. You’re thinking about others instead of what you need for your own happiness. Everyone must find their own path and just because someone else has succeeded doesn’t mean you’ve lost.
I’m extremely grateful for the time I have. I hope you feel the same way.
Here’s a quote from Prince EA that was posted on his Instagram the other day and inspired me to write this aticle. Take this with you into your day.
“Listen, stop trying to find the right person, and start trying to BE the right person.”